Success with the Beaver!

I know this will not be the last of the need for dam destruction, but I checked on our handiwork the next day, and I am quite pleased!

Remember when Christina went on her Great Beaver Hunt? She was up to her lace-covered butt hips in water crawling under this fallen log.



Now look at the water level at this same spot!



The pipe we laid is still fully under water and pumping water through the dam. Look how much of the creek bank is now visible!



This was when Christina was hanging on for dear life climbing the listing tree, with a still surface covered in leaves below. This same tree (which will be cut down tomorrow,) is visible above.



Once the water level dropped, more dams were visible in the distance. Tomorrow, barring rain, we will be back out with pitch forks and shovels, taking those down as well. I've already taken another pipe down, in case it's necessary!

A local friend, Debby, told Stud Muffin that people often set a lawn chair out near the dam, with a dummy sitting in it. After a while, the beavers stop worrying about it and then you can take the place of the dummy and fire away!

Studly told her that was a great idea, but he didn't think he could get me to sit in the chair out in the woods for a few nights!

By www.freewebs.com

Inconveniencing the Beaver!

Okay, so I don't know if this will become a Thanksgiving tradition around here, but this morning started off by donning waders (funny trousers, according to Marmy) and destroying the beaver dam. Not just poking at it with a stick, but getting into the cold water and ripping the thing apart.



We took a 20 foot length of 3 inch PVC pipe to act as our culvert, strapped to the buggy. It was a bit like jousting with the trees driving down the road, but we made it.



Stud Muffin started by trimming away some of the branches from a tree which the (&%^$%$$# beaver has caused to fall across the creek.



Then there was nothing left to do but actually climb down in there and start removing branches one by one.



It didn't take long for the water to start flowing. Keeping it going was going to be the challenge!. Using a stick helps!



I took a turn as well, but sitting on the dam was easier on my back. However, even with the waders, my butt was cold!!



See the pipe next to me? I was digging down in the silt to keep the pipe under water as much as possible. BTW, leaf mold and mud smell like *ss!



Pipe in place, concrete blocks from under the bridge keep the pipe from floating away. The bank has eroded away so much that the blocks weren't doing anything to hold the bridge up. Guess I can't drive over it until we do something about that! Like win the lottery!



Water flows through the pipe and no matter how high Monsieur Beaver rebuilds the dam, the water will keep flowing! Hopefully, he and his family will relocate much further away. On somebody's else property.

Is that mean of me?!?

T'was the night after Thanksgiving...

After the Thanksgiving turkey is eaten and the dishes are running in the machine, men go off to unbutton their pants and watch televised football.

Women unbutton their pants and start their online Christmas shopping!

Photo by bombayharbor.com

And even though I am still working on one, I have listed my Farm Fresh Christmas stocking in the shop. Hopefully, I will have a cucumber stocking before too long, but at the moment, I need to start over. This stocking is too big and looks like the Pickle That Ate New York!




I am also noodling on an addition to the eco-friendly produce line, but it's definitely not ready for Prime Time yet. Stay tuned.

And a word of advise. For those of you who aren't aware, many stores are/will be closing their doors. Use up your gift cards soon and be careful about buying these store's cards for gifts!

I'm such a child...

just ask my husband.

While we were out running errands this morning, we stopped by the Petsmart store for dog food. We had previously decided that we would not get the dogs new toys for Christmas.

Yeah, we bought toys anyway. And then, as soon as we got home, the dogs could smell the toys through the bag and got all excited. So we (okay, I... it was all me!) gave them the toys. Merry Christmas, Nick and Sassy!


Nick claimed this toy, since it makes a hedgehog throaty honk/squeak. That made Sassy nuts, and she wasn't interested in the other toy that I bought just for her. She danced around whining for us to get the toy for her, but Nick growled (lovingly, if that's possible) when anyone came near his toy.



Eventually, Sassy distracted Nick and stole the squeaky toy. Then she crawled under the coffee table to better protect the treasure.



That left Nick with the "other" toy. The not-as-exciting toy. The "loser's" toy. And the chasing around for the good toy began in earnest. The only way to distract them (after throwing them outside and having them race for the toy when they got back in) was to ply them with rawhide bones. They go into separate rooms to eat those!

So, I'm a child for buying the toys and then giving them out immediately.

And then there is dinner. At Stud Muffin's request, I made a macaroni and cheese, after he baked an apple pie for Thanksgiving.

Here is the mac and cheese after we ate dinner.


This isn't a very big Pyrex, maybe 6-8 inches across?

Then I NEEDED pie! It was a pie-ial emergency! I had been smelling it as it baked. And I had been cheated out of my piece from the last pie!

So, here is our Thanksgiving pie:


A bigger dish than the macaroni was baked in. Proportionately more gone.

This pie might not make it to Thursday!

So, yeah... I'm a child. And if there were any Christmas gifts wrapped around here with my name on them, I would have opened them by now!

As those of us in the USA prepare for Thankgiving Day, remember that there is nothing worse than an undercooked turkey as the center piece of your dinner table. I have done extensive research on the internet to bring you this tip for cooking a perfect bird!

Okay, I actually stole this from Nick's Bytes. I even stole the same cartoon from exploratorium.edu!



A sure fire way to tell when your Thanksgiving turkey is thoroughly cooked! Add popcorn to the stuffing!

8 - 15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT)
Salt/pepper to taste


Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room, it's done.


Of course, you could just wait for that timer thingie in every ceiling to start shrieking. As the smoke pours out of the oven, you'll know the bird it completely and thoroughly cooked!

More valuable cooking and holiday merry-making tips to come!

You're welcome!

Beavers explained

For those of you city-slickers, and Marmy, who don't understand what I have against a cute little beaver, I will explain. (No, Stud Muffin, I will NOT explain my beaver to you! After 24 years of marriage, you already know!)

First off, beavers do not look like this:

Cartoon at files.turbosquid.com

If Marmy were to have her way, the picture would look like this:

Photo by raincoaster,files,wordpress.com

I want you to notice how large this beaver is compared to the woman kissing it! Folks, beavers are a member of the RODENT family! You know, rats and such! And they multiply like rodents!

Beavers can chew down a forest full of trees in no time, in order to build large waterfront condos for themselves and their numerous offspring.

Photo by ed.fnal.gov

They all want swimming pools and pool-side cabanas too, so they take even more trees to build damn dams to hold in water.


Photo by outdoorescapesnewhampshire.com

Damming up a stream does a couple of bad things. First, it slows the flow of water downstream, allowing leaves and junk to accumulate. Plus, I don't get to watch the water flow and that p*sses me off!

Second, when the heavy rains inevitably come, water backs up behind the dam and overflows the stream banks. This in turn washes away the surrounding ground, taking my roads and bridges with it. This p*sses me off!



Then I have to sweet talk Stud Muffin into selling his beloved car in order to raise funds to hire someone with a bulldozer to come build me a new road. I have to do unspeakable wifely things to accomplish this (like cleaning and cooking) and this also p*sses me off!

Finally, I have no more money and am reduce to being my own day laborer moving mulch ALL SUMMER LONG, because I can't afford to stimulate the local economy and hire somebody stronger than myself to move all that &*%&^$#$ mulch. This really p*sses me off!

The only way to eliminate a beaver population, is, well, to eliminate the beavers! Dynamite is preferred, but a bazooka is acceptable. We are going to try and just taking out the Welcome sign and see if they will relocate to Marmy's house. Otherwise, more drastic measures will be taken!

Now you all know why I want the beavers gone. As much as I would like to "live and let live," rodents bigger than my dogs freak me out. Worse than fish.

So, no more talk about leaving the beavers alone.

Photo by icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com

My Lucky Day!

Today has been a very good day. Look what the mailman brought me!



My $1 check as promised as a refund on our closing when we sold our house in Las Vegas. Now I can go get my lottery ticket and win millions!

Plus, I keep getting emails saying I will get one half of a huge multi-million dollar payout for helping some poor "feriner" process a check! I keep telling them I don't have a bank account, but will go into a bank and cash it for them! Waiting to hear back, and mentally spending my money already!

In other good news, I sold my first log carrier on Etsy! A repeat customer (also my first!) bought this map print carrier for a birthday gift!



This afternoon, I went and retrieved some of the firewood Stud Muffin and I cut yesterday from a tree that uprooted and fell across the road.



This is only the top of the tree. We have most of the trunk yet to cut, but did get the road cleared again.

We have a new plan for getting rid of the beavers, which entails skewering the dams with PVC pipe, below the water level, to get the water draining again. Something like this.

Diagram by usroads.com

Locals here say the when the beavers can't stop the water flowing by building the dam higher, supposedly they will go elsewhere. We'll see!

Dinner is in the oven. Barbeque pork chops and cornbread. Perfect for a cold blustery night!

Oh, man!!

I was (almost) so busted!!

I ran errands this morning, after Stud Muffin helped me take the trash to the dump. Nothing much to report, except I paid $1.83 for gas with my grocery store wavy thing.

I returned home with lots to do. The clouds are coming in and the temperature will drop to 25*F tonight! That's cold folks! I'll be shivering in my hula skirt.

So, anyway, I needed to get in some more firewood and mow (at least) the backyard to get rid of as much fruit from the Squirtwood tree as I could hit with the mower. Sassy barfed twice last night at 1:15 AM. I want these suckers gone, I say!

I mowed. The backyard and both side yards. When I returned the mower to the shop, however, my cell phone was nowhere to be found. I had put it in my pants pocket, so that if I drove off of a cliff into the forest or I mowed over a snake, I could call Stud Muffin so at least he could laugh at me. How could I explain that I lost my phone, in my own yard?!?

Check around the mower in the shop. No phone. Sh*t! Okay, drive the buggy over all the lawns I've mowed and pray feverishly that I don't compound the problem by running the dang thing over. Horrible visions of my pretty lavender Razr phone lying amongst the leaves in pieces after I mowed over it flash before my eyes.

Photo by jasonbaeder

Photo by kozumel

What if Studly won't buy me another new phone? What if I have to carry this old thing around?

Photo by blinkfirst.com Say, does this phone make my butt look fat?

I mow over things all the time. Walnuts, sticks, snakes. Some of them make horrific noises and shoot out in pieces. So, how could I find just where the phone squeezed out of my pocket like a Push-Pop? Driving around wasn't getting the job done. I got the house phone, started calling myself and walked outside.

There! I heard it! Singing away somewhere in the backyard! Hopefully, NOT covered in Squirtwood fruit!

Marco?

Polo!

Marco?

There you are!!



Safe and sound, singing right along.



Whew! Okay. My heart rate is returning to normal.

And we won't tell Studly that I ran around the backyard yelling Marco/Polo into the great forest beyond. That's just between us, right?

Enough is enough

That's it!

I've had it!

I am so over the dogs barfing in the house because they keep eating every persimmon in the yard. I'm tired of waking from a sound sleep to the sound of retching, knowing that if I don't "hop to" and clean up a pile of steaming, fermenting fruit vomit, it will stain the carpet and I will spend the next day with the SpotBot.



Tired of Sassy bugging me endlessly to be let into the backyard so she can zoom around looking for more fruit to eat with me chasing after her trying to get to the fruit first. Tired of having my evening punctuated by a big cloud of doggie gas leveling the family room and making the actors on TV hold their noses!

Tired of finding persimmon seeds that have unintentionally ejected themselves from the hind end of a pet littered about the house. (Yeah, that was probably Too Much Information, but I'm just keeping it real here!)

There was no other choice. It had to be done. The persimmon trees (or Squirtwood, as Stud Muffin calls it) HAVE to go.



It's not like the fruit was good for anything. They are only about the size of a "shooter" marble, with flat seeds like bullets. And there were millions of them on each tree. And there are 3 trees in the fenced backyard where the dogs spend time.



So after Sunday morning waffles, we fired up the chainsaw and Studly "did the deed!!" Starting with the little ones and working up to the big, still producing one.



Stud Muffin wanted me to tell you that he sawed and sawed and the big tree didn't fall. Then I pushed on it and it dropped like a stone.



The truth is, he sawed and sawed until his back needed a rest. Holding a heavy, loud chain saw away from your body so you don't accidentally lob off your leg is hard on the back and arms. He told me that he hadn't cut the wedge all the way through, so he had more work to do. I pushed on the trunk and reported that it was still firmly upright. Then it cracked, I jumped, and the tree dropped.

I took a turn with the saw while Stud Muffin loaded the cart.






As expected, fruit went everywhere! I'm pretty sure that we shot persimmons into the next county!!



While Studly threw the tree branches over the fence, I filled bucket after bucket with fruit bound for the dump.



I can't say that I'm sorry to see the trees go. I've got lots more trees. I got a cartload of firewood out of the deal, and hopefully, after another week of ferreting out the hidden persimmons, there will be no more Spotbot-worthy incidents.

The recession is over!!

Photo from www. people.com


Things are still wet here on Feet First Farm, and getting much colder! But our fortunes are improving!! Before I explain ('cus I know Stud Muffin is curious) I want to share what I made for lunch today!

I read about this Spicy Orange Garlic Shrimp recipe over at The Pioneer Woman, and decided that it would be a great lunch idea for me to try when Stud Muffin was at work. You know, just in case it was a bomb. Besides, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be into it anyway, what with the orange juice in it. So, anyway, here it is.



Now, the recipe calls for Old Bay seasoning, but I didn't know what that was, let alone have any. So, I checked out the internet and made a substitution recipe for the seasoning. Also, the recipe calls for more cayenne pepper than I would want, so I just added a sprinkle.

I was really good!! I'm very pleased with my seasoning substitution but should have let the sauce cook down a little more to get syrupy!


As for my improving fortunes, here is the story:

A while back, I got an email from Chicago Angie, who was also our real estate agent in Las Vegas. {Shameless Plug: If you are looking to buy or sell in Las Vegas, Angie is your gal!} Anyway, Angie received an email (which she attached) from the new owners of our LV house, indicating that they had received a letter from a company trying to refund us some money. Angie sent along the information for me to call and provide a forwarding address to get the money.

I put off calling this company, because, frankly, I was worried that it wasn't a legitimate refund, but rather some sort of a phony offer to sell us something. Eventually, I looked the company up on the internet (gotta love it!) and found that they were for real.

Yesterday, I placed the call. Since I didn't have the actual letter, just the information, I couldn't provide an account number or even the name of the person who had sent it. I spent about 15 minutes talking with 3 different people before we got it all squared away. The final lady I spoke with was so happy that I had persevered so she could clear the refund from her accounts.

I am now eagerly awaiting my refund check (from title insurance or some such thing) in the amount of...... wait for it.....

$1.

The recession is over here on the farm!!

I told the lady that if she hurried, I could still get a large Sweet Tea from McDonald's for $1. She suggested that I buy a Lottery ticket instead. I like her idea better than mine!

Picture by acc-tv.com

Next round of water is on me!!!

Edit: Barb has reminded me that I too am expecting a multi-million dollar deposit into my bank account as my half of an embassy payment from a some country or another. The good times just keep getting better and better!!

It was a dark and stormy...day!

A dark and rainy day here today. The dogs were being particularly pesky, so I decided to go to Kroger's and Sam's Club for supplies.

I did pretty well at Kroger's, especially since they send me targeted coupons when I use my wavy-thing card. I managed to save 48% today, including their coupons for free Cheerios, and money off of produce.

Sam's Club was for meat and cheese, and some fine dining for lunch. Hot dog and Diet Coke. That there is some good eats!

When I got home, I had 10 pounds of ground beef to deal with, along with some other meat to separate and wrap, and 6 pounds of cheese to shred. I ended up cooking 5 pounds of the beef to freeze for quick dinners in future, and freezing the rest of the beef in 1 pound portions.

The dogs were going nuts with all the meat cooking! Since I wouldn't give them the steaks they requested, I let them have the (cooled) pans a pre-rinse cycle, ala dog.



Nick wedges his pan into the corner, as always, but Sassy hasn't figured that out yet. She licks SO hard, that the pan travelled around the kitchen a couple of times. First we go one way,



then go the other. Repeat.

The rains have come in waves. Somewhere in the night, poor Mr and Mrs Frog-tree flung themselves off of their bench!



That's better, but they look like they have been "eatin' sh*t!" Mr and Mrs Frog-tree have been with us for 16 years, living in every garden we have had since then.



I told you it was dark today!



Oh, and the project I was working on when Stud Muffin was absconding with MY PIECE OF PIE, here it is, still in progress.



I will leave you with this helpful list courtesy of my blog-less friend Chicago Angie:

Who would have thought the solution to everyday problems was this easy?

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

By z.about.com

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Daily Thought:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES; NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

All I have to say is this...

Cartoon by saveandconquer.com


Stud Muffin is a Great Big Pie Thief!!

You remember this pie, the one he made while I was out freezing my caboose off raking leaves??



We ran errands today, and upon arriving back at home, Studly Pie Hole, took the remaining pie out of the fridge to "warm."

I went to my studio to get some sewing work done. I had plans... big plans... of eating a piece of pie and drinking a frou-frou coffee in front of a roaring fire when I accomplished what I needed to in the studio.

Imagine my dismay, No! the horror, of Stud Muffin greeting me at the door, bloated little belly sticking out for all the world to see, and announcing that he had eaten The Rest Of The Pie!! Almost one-fourth of a whole pie!! MY piece of pie, as well as his!!

With ice cream!!

What has the world come to??

I hope he has indigestion!!

Picture by 4to40.com

If you "leave" me now....

I'll just rake them up and make use of them! Today was a good, but chilly, day to rake up some leaves and use them to cover the vegetable beds.



As always, my faithful canine helper was by my side, dancing in the leaves I was raking and dropping her toys into the piles.


Nick was off doing whatever boy dogs do in the woods.

Eventually, Stud Muffin took pity on my frozen carcass and came out to help by blowing the leaves into piles.



Dixie, the neighbor's dog came up the road from the woods and Nick and Sassy greeted her and then showed her the way off of their property!

Dixie's in the middle. Nick hopes to get "lucky" but she's not interested in him!



I (we) managed to get 4 tarp loads before my hip had had enough.


I still have plenty of leaves on this lawn alone, but got 2 of the veggie beds covered for the winter. Should provide nutrients and keep the rain from "crusting up" (official gardening term) the soil.



Dinner is in the oven: Meatloaf and baked potatoes. I am cooking carrots with dill and lemon, and Studly, who doubles as Billy Crocker, made an apple crumb pie!!


Yum!

Lookin' for love in all the wrong places

Today was the day for The Great Beaver Hunt. This, it turns out, was of MAJOR importance to Christina, right behind visiting the beaver-free property she bought earlier in the year, and of course, seeing Moi.

It mattered little to her that the hard rains overnight had rendered the access roads dangerous, or the fact that we had no waders, or the fact that she can't shoot a gun. "Piffle," she said. So we went into town this morning and scored some waders with built-in boots at the sporting goods store.

After a visit to her property, we were ready for TGBH (The Great Beaver Hunt.) On went the waders.





Sassy is confused by California Girl's lace underpants! Sassy has never seen anything so fancy!

Hike the pants up to your armpits!

Admire ourself in the window. Yeah! Ready for the Nerd Herd!

Hey, Christina! There's room for more people in them there clown pants!



Yikes! I'm wearing Stud Muffin's waders and there isn't as much room left over. What's with THAT?? And, I can't walk across the porch without tripping in the oversized boots. Furthermore, Studly expressly forbade me from entering the water with my sore hip and him off at work, so I am relegated to the role for TGBH photographer!

Valiant Hunter!

You would think she was being forced by me to do this... instead of the other way 'round!!

The road was passable by this time, so we took off for the bridge. The deal was, Christina would get into the creek and I would try to follow along on the banks, armed with a pistol and camera.



First, we have to climb under the log, using the pathway that the beaver has smoothed with it's tail while chewing down many, many shrubs and trees.


Climb into the creek...


and almost go *ss over teakettle into the water. Ah! Good times, good times!

After she walked about 15 feet to the left, she quickly rounded a bend in the creek and was lost from view. If I was to track her, I would either have to cross the creek through the water (forbidden by Studly) or tightrope walk across a fallen and rotting tree. I chose door number three... yell at her from where I stood!

Of course, I was in no position to help her if she needed it, or defend her rubber-clad life with the gun, but I could shriek words of encouragement to the great wooded beyond and hope she heard me! I did take the buggy and try to find another way closer to the bank, but it was not to be.

The report came back that there was another dam further up the creek, and 3 places that could be beaver abodes, although none of them looked like the stick hut pictures we saw on the web.

Picture Christina took showing another dam with water cascading down in the lower right hand corner.

She came back disappointed, although I'm not exactly sure what she expected. Did she think a family of beavers would be happily paddling about in the swimming pool that they made just waiting for her visit? Did she long to stick the end of a shot gun into the "homes" she found and pull the trigger? Who knows.

But wanting to feel like we accomplished something, we did attempt to remove a falling tree that Mr. or Mrs. Beaver has caused to lean over the creek right at the bridge. Christina did the honors of climbing the tree and hooking up the winch cable.



But the tree was tougher than we were, so Studly will have to cut it with the chainsaw before we drag it away. That's okay, we have a couple of trees blocking the road that need to go as well.

So, no beaver for the Great Beaver Hunter, but she is still my hero for climbing into the unknown and slogging her way up river!

::30:: Day 30

So, did ya think I would actually post something every day for 30 days?? Yeah, me either! But here we are. Day 30.

And what better a way to spend it than with my sister, Christina. Here she is, waiting with me at the doctor's this morning.



Isn't this a MUCH better look for her than the one I have been rehashing for over a year? Love the longer hair, blonder locks, the fact that having a "boyfriend" has brightened her whole being!!

So off we went to the doctor once I could move enough to get there. A couple of shots and a pain pill prescription later, I'm feeling better. Not great, but I have high hopes for the next few days!

And Christina is on a mission. She wants to hunt the beaver! You know, the one that is damming up my creek and threatening my roads?

Not like this:

Picture by files.turbosquid.com

But like this!! She wants to don hip waders and wander up the creek looking for a 40+ pound rodent with big teeth and enormous tail!

Photo by www.kdwp.state.ks.us

We went out to survey the situation, since she hasn't seen it with her own eyes.



As always, the dam is bigger and better than ever. And you can see why we can't just use dynamite on this dam. It's too "damn" close to the wooden bridge that we drive the cart over!



But, we don't have any waders, so we will look tomorrow at the sporting goods store and MAYBE hunt beaver in the afternoon! I can't say I really looking forward to it, but if we can at least find where it lives, that would be something. Then I could run away like a little girl and let my big bad hero do the dirty deed!

Christina is determined that this will be a grand adventure, so I will make the attempt. We returned to the house for a rest.



Christina then decided that if she was going to have this grand adventure and tell everyone she meets that she "hunted beaver," she better look great doing it. So she colored her hair!



'Cus a city girl from California has gotta protect the reputation, even when hunting ginormous wild rodents!

::30:: Day 29

Sorry I didn't post last night. I spent the day running around "tidying" up and doing sheet laundry before picking Christina up at the airport in the late afternoon. After dinner in the "Bigger" town, we drove home in the dark.

I think two days of long hours in the car have taken their toll. My back has seized up and my hip bursitis is killing me. If I can get out of this chair and get into the doctor for an injection, I might have something more interesting to report on later.

This getting old sh*t is for the birds!!

Cartoon at i278.photobucket.com

::30:: Day 28

I only did two things today. Well, two important things after I did things like wake up, feed the dogs, go to the bathroom, and brush my teeth.

1.) I voted. Actually, Stud Muffin and I voted before we did the second thing: retrieve the Turd from Mississippi. (I was going to say we voted before doing number 2, but that didn't sound quite right!)

Okay, so 1.) We voted. There is no early voting in this part of rural America, so we trotted off to the local polling place, after panicking that we weren't registered since we hadn't received a sample ballot to study the issues.

Once we got to the polling place, we saw why we were neglected in the Great Election Sample Ballot mailings. There wasn't much to vote on around here. No ballot issues, no constitutional amendments, just a couple of offices like State Senate and President. So they had a jumbo version of the ballots taped to the table for your perusal while you waited your turn. Our turn. It should have taken about {} that many seconds to check in and vote. But Nooooo.

The good news is, that contrary to what other people in other areas of the country have experienced, there was no line at our polling place. In fact, after I voted, I learned that I was the tenth person to cast a ballot there that day.

The bad news is that they had Grandma Sincere from Fresno checking IDs at the first table.

This is her!! Photo by www.sequenza21.com

This is how the procedure at our location went. Hand your ID or voter's card to Grandma Sincere. She looks your name up in a book and asks if you live at the same address. Then she v.e.r.y slooooowly fills out, in her neatest printing, a form about the size of a prescription and has you sign it. Then you sign the book too, for good measure. This is if she doesn't get caught up in visiting with someone else working with her or even just walking past. Like this: Name... L I S "Myrtle how's your Mama doin'? She feelin' better? Good. Where was I??" A A L S O. Address: .....

The Grandma hands the form to the next old lady, who writes the exact same information down on a sheet of bigger paper. Then she hands it to the old lady that punches some buttons and hands you a receipt with a number on it.

Cartoon by bartblog.bartcop.com

Then you step to one of the 2 voting machines and a guy takes over, telling you how to work the machine and enter your number to get a ballot. Then (and this kills me) he dials the machine to highlight the "presumed" choice for President and Vice President. I asked him about the names of the other side of the screen, and he said, " Oh, those are Independents. You probably won't want any of those!"

Huh??

Did this guy just more than suggest who I should vote for and who I should ignore??

And then he stood dangerously close to my shoulder while I actually picked my very own choice for President, Vice President, Big Cheese and Head Clown.

And they didn't even have pretty "I voted" stickers to put on your shirt or jacket!! The shock and horror of it all!!

*****

2.) After casting my vote for whomever, we headed off to collect the Big Rolling Turd from the repair place in Mississippi. It was a beautiful sunny day and we had a nice drive down.

And I drove the Turd home. 150 miles. All by myself. And I didn't kill anyone.

::30:: Day 27

The day started out as so many do...me weeding and mulching, the dogs "helping." Sassy dug trenches chasing a frog who, BTW, knows how to "play possum" until she gives up and then it hops away. Nick investigated his domain, and as I was dragging the cart for of weeds to the compost pile, was soaking up the sun on the grass.

Or so I thought.

As Sassy and I approached, it was clear he was hiding something under his paws, and he gave Sassy the evil eye. I went over to see, and found he was chewing on a deer antler! Not a big one, mind you, just a little one. At first I thought it was a stick. I think it was naturally shed and Nick didn't take it off the deer himself!

He was not happy that I took it away (and threw it in the compost pile too!)

******
Not much else happened around here. I mentioned to Stud Muffin that I "might" clean out the fridge, but, yeah, that didn't happen! I ran errands until I got tired of all the people who have the nerve to be out shopping when I want to.

I decided to try to make Sweet and Sour Chicken for dinner, since there isn't any good Chinese food to be had for about 70 miles of home.

Waiting for word the the Muffin is on his way home.


Isn't this the most interesting shade of orange? Seems to indicate just how sweet this is!

I've never made this recipe, so I'll have to tell you how it works out tomorrow.

*****

My sister, Christina , might being coming out on Wednesday to visit.

She's not usually this serious. She must be having one of her rare thoughts! Or maybe making one of her fabulous jewelry pieces.

Well, actually she is coming out to visit with the land she bought nearby. I happen to be providing transportation and housing. Guess I better excavate the bed under all these linens from the Turd, ya think?



And speaking of the Big Rolling Turd, the repairs are finished, so Stud Muffin and I will drive into Mississippi tomorrow and collect it. I think I might drive the Turd home myself! I'm trying to learn how to "pop a wheelie" with it! Wish me luck!

*****

Oh, and the shoes at the top?? Marmy was showing off her pink shoes, and I wanted to play too!

These are my favorite Sketchers that I got in Paris years ago. I've never seen this style sold in the US. I call them my Kindergarten shoes, cus they seem to be as if I've had them since then. I can just hear the people now, " That poor child! Only 5 years old and already wearing a size 9 shoe. Where do you think her Mom found shoes that big??"

::30:: Day 26

The headache seems to be receding, although it hasn't gone away completely. And thank you Marmy, you daft cow, for hoping I stepped in doggie vomit barefoot! That made me feel all warm inside!

So, for any of you sewers/crafters out there, let's have a show of hands from those who have ever sprung for the "expensive" materials, and then had the project not go together the way you thought it would (or should.) I broke with my usual cheap-screw approach to fabric gathering this time, and got the "good" quilting fabric.



I had bought the specific fabric for specific parts of the "Project" (with a capital P) and started cutting out the pieces. Soon, I noticed that the cutting layout on the pattern was missing diagrams.



I know this is a cr*p photo, but if you look closely, you can read that there is a diagram for satchel A, contrast #2, #3 and #5. Where is the layout for contrast #1 and #4??? Not on the backside of the page. I eventually worked it out for myself, but by then, I had cut pieces from the wrong fabrics. So I re-cut pieces when I had enough fabric, and switched things around, when I didn't.



All together now...Arg!!

So, this isn't going to look exactly as I planned, but I think it will still be good. And the recipient won't know the difference, right??

Now, I am getting to the actual construction part, but have used up all my time cutting replacement pieces and endless interfacing parts out of 3, yes, that's 3 different kinds of interfacing!





I will keep you informed as things progress. On another front, I finished the socks!! Yeah!



I'm still not comfortable with graphing the toe at the very end, but once you get the socks on, you can't hardly tell. More room for improvement!

::30:: Day 25

Photo by Articulate Matter.

I woke up this morning at 4 AM to feed the "pesticle" dogs and realized that I had a headache. Went to the fridge (in the dark) to get some water to take some Tylenol and nearly wiped out on something slippery on the floor. Reluctantly turned on the light to find that one of the dogs have spewed breakfast right in front of the fridge.

Great.

Cleaned that up and went back to bed. Woke up later with the same headache.

So you will get nothing from me today.

You are welcome.