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It has been a long time coming, but I have made the decision to withdraw from the nursing program. My heart isn't in it and I feel it is too critical for your patients not to pursue it whole-heartedly.
So, I am at a crossroads now. One journey has ended, but I'm not sure about the direction of the next. I think I will just take some time off and let everything sort of work itself out.
I spend my days cleaning my house (wipe that shocked look off of your face, Toni! It does happen occasionally!) This part of life has taken a backseat to studying for so very long, I think the dust mastodons have developed glowing eyes that stare at me from behind doors at night. Or maybe paranoia has finally gained the upper hand!
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Either way, I am "wiping the slate clean" so to speak. I am looking forward to starting my little garden seedlings and watching the outside world wake up from this horrendous winter. I may visit St. Louis, if it will ever stop snowing there, I may go to California, or I may just stay home for a while.
Right now, I am enjoying the peace that comes from finally making a difficult decision. I thank all my family and friends for supporting me in this. And don't worry, Marmy! I still know how to put in an "Auntie Morris" (urinary catheter) should you need one!
6 comments:
What a tough decision to make. Especially after all your hard work.
The path will become clear for you someday. Just follow your heart.
Judy
I see that St. Louis and California are on your list of possible visiting spots. However, RENO DIDN'T MAKE THE LIST. Humph.
Reno. Been there. Done that.
I know that was a very hard decision, Mommy and I wanted to let you know that I am incredibly proud of you. I hope you get to come and see me soon because I think it will be good for you to get away for a while.
I love you!
Thanks everyone, for all the support.
Proud of you for realizing that you really weren't into it. You're right, nurses need to be really devoted, and if that isn't your path it is better to change direction now than to put yourself and your patients through the misery of being where you don't want to be. Hunh. That sentence doesn't work at all, does it? I guess I won't be an english prof! ;)
You will figure out what you want to do. Like you said, let it simmer, and some night you will wake from a sound sleep going "That's it!!!" and your path will become clear.
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