Thursday, February 26, 2009

Why can't people leave a good thing alone?!?


I want to buy the person this shirt!

I got an email today from my online Physical Science professor. Somebody in the class didn't like that the professor was emailing individuals their grades on assignments instead of using the grade tab on the online course site. They got the "brilliant" idea to go to the department head and complain rather than talking with the professor directly.

Said professor got into six different kinds of trouble for modifying the course.

So, now instead of the fairly laid-back class consisting of discussions and labs, with a chapter test we could complete over a week, we now have:

All due dates rigidly enforced. Death certificate must accompany extension request.

Rate of work jacked up to warp speed, just to make sure that nobody gets any sleep between now and the end of the semester.

Every ding-dang homework question in the back of the chapter emailed in for a grade (previously for your own use and ungraded.)

Graph by

All tests now 45 minutes timed online, one shot only. No weekend to ponder the complicated nature of Kinetic Molecular Theory.

The 10-15 page term paper, originally deemed useless, reinstated. Due in a matter of weeks. Sigh

Smooth move, ExLax!! Now will somebody pull the knife out of my back?

Monday, February 23, 2009

And another...

Happy 21st Birthday, Practically Grown!!

My baby is now an A-dolt! Remember, if you get yourself arrested, you can't blame your parents anymore!!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Happy Birthday...


So this is the( what?) anniversary of your 21st birthday?

BTW, cute friend you have there!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Say "bye, bye" to the Turd

Well, it seems that Friday/Saturday will be my day for a blog update. I am too busy during the rest of the week, and frankly, rather boring. Unless you get some sort of sick, vicarious thrill from hearing about how much dog hair I vacuumed up or how high the dirty dishes can be stacked on every kitchen surface before they fall. In which case, I am wickedly stimulating!

Yesterday, Stud Muffin and I converted a major asset into something more practical. Yes, folks, the Big Rolling Turd is no longer a member of this family!

I am sorry to see it go, but the state of the world required it. As much as I loved cruising down the road with my panoramic view from my co-pilot's seat, with me in school and Studly earning the bucks, we couldn't figure out when we would ever be able to take another trip!

We also got rid of the cursed car.

BUT. We got two really neat cars, that get great gas mileage, and will actually get used! Here's my new little Malibu:

Pretty, sparkly red! I'm all about the red!

And Studly's Traverse:

Sorry about the shady photos. Late afternoon, limited sunlight!

Now, I know this looks suspiciously like the tire-eating car we traded in, but it's not. This vehicle is lower to the ground, and gets much better gas mileage. Always a plus in this economy!

So, I'm sorry, Marmy. You did not get over here fast enough to stay in the Turd. Guess it's back to Steve the Shed for you... if you ever visit!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Popping in to say hi

I got an email from Marmite Toasty, saying she was going to start worrying about me if I didn't send up a flare. Well, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black! The woman who lost the entire month of January?!?! Ha!

So I am sticking my head out of the school books to say that I am alive, and doing well in my continued edumacation.

I had to sew some produce bags for an Etsy order. It's not much, not enough to keep me in chocolate bars and erasers, but hey, it's something! I headed out to my studio to start work and to check on my few broccoli and cabbage seedlings. But first, I had to clear the seed packets and germinating stuff in order to even find the table!

Cutting table? Where are youuuu?!?

These are some Vinca vines that I am trying to root from lasts years plants which are struggling to survive out by Steve the shed. We'll see if it actually works, but for now, they seem happy enough on their heating pad.

See my little seedlings?? Okay, not very impressive yet, but I have high hopes! I also planted a few more seeds... well, just in case!!

I got the bags made. My first sewing since Christmas! Otherwise, all my time, and I do mean ALL, is spent cramming my head full of science stuff. Poor Stud Muffin. He gets NO attention from me, boring-but-quick-to-produce meals, dust buffalos waving from every corner, and a wife wearing the same clothes over and over grunting hello and goodbye. Nice life, eh? Someday, honey, i promise life will get better! I'm getting good grade, though!

Now, this is for Almost Grown, who has been going to the gym everyday. Way to go! My friend, Cindy from Singapore emailed this to me, and I laughed so hard, I might have wee'd myself just a bit! I don't know who really wrote it, though.


Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me.
She is something of a Greek goddess - with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a Nissan in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other stuff too.

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny person to find me.

Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
_________ _ _____________________
I hate Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader.. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little darling) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, He would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Once I get done spitting coffee on myself reading this, I want to say Hi to everyone who has wondered if I am still alive.

"Hi, everyone!"

Okay, Marmy... your turn!

Friday, February 6, 2009

I don't do well

with goofy cold weather!

Yesterday, we woke up to 17 degree weather. This is what I found.

The dog's outdoor water bowl with a strange, frozen, phallic growth in the middle. Poor Sassy tried to lick the "water' anyway!

The freakin' metal edging I worked so hard to put in place, heaving out of the ground with the frost. Perfect for slicing off the bottom of an unsuspecting dog or stupid barefoot human.

The mulch-moving cart was half full of rainwater. Now it's half full of very heavy solid ice. I tried to tip it up on it's end, but it wouldn't stay. After I got back from school, and the weather had heated up to about 40 degrees, the block slipped right out!

This is the block this morning, still solid.

But at 6 o'clock this morning, the temperature was already higher than yesterday's high! And it reached about 67 degrees this afternoon. Much more my style!! I was going to include a picture of my flower bulbs starting to push up through the soil. However, some little forest critters have chewed them down to the ground!

And thanks for all the suggestions. In my spare time, I am working on a PMS version of this hat. I will be replacing the toilet roll with an extra large chocolate bar!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

My new hat!

Since Stud Muffin gave me his cold, he bought me this cool hat to wear with it!

Photo by

Yes, yes. I am a syphilitic, dripping, choking bag of monkey poo, but I couldn't let this beautiful Sunday go by without doing something productive.

So, I started seeds in my makeshift greenhouse. Red cabbage and broccoli, to be exact. And I am nothing if not exact about thingies and whatnots.

First, I had to retrieve the shelving parts from the shop and reassemble them. Then soak the little peat pot whatchamagigies in warm water.

I am also starting some Compost Tea (not compost pee, like Studly says) from a kit I bought years ago and never got around to using. Using the aquarium pump that was included, I am aerating the water to remove chlorine. After that, I will dump in the compost inoculant and aerate for another 3 days. I'm going to use this diluted tea to feed my little seedlings, instead of the more expensive worm-poo I used last year.

I have only planted a few cabbage seeds and broccoli seeds. I am going to spread out the plantings by about a week or so. Last year, my seedlings were beautiful and strong, but I got them in the ground too late to form heads before it got too hot. Going to try and do better this year. Here are the little seeds in their plastic covered house sitting on a warming tray.

And now under an old t-shirt. Seeds like to germinate in the dark!

In other news, Sara, the Barefoot Gardener has given me this award!

I am supposed to list five addictions, and then pass the award on to some other bloggers. So,

1. Right now, I am addicted to Kleenex with lotion. The whole box comes with me as I move from room to room.

2. I used to be addicted to Diet Coke (which is how I met Celtic Spirit then we joined a support group,) but I have gotten over that and haven't had one for about 3 weeks now.

3. I am seriously addicted to chocolate, but then, what normal woman isn't?

4. I am addicted to my farm and can't imagine myself living anywhere else happily.

5. I am hopelessly addicted to sunny days with a cool breeze blowing!

Now to tag some others. I have been reading some new-to-me blogs, so will pass this along to

Celtic Spirit
Ang at Eclectic Culture Farm
Kathie at Two Frog Home
Rhonda Jean at Down To Earth
Nic at Deliberate Life

Now get to it, girls! I need to know about other's addictions. I'm sure it will make me feel better about wearing THAT hat!