Monday, July 7, 2008

Random thoughts and questions

Being as I am the most boringest person in blogland, I have these questions and thoughts to put out there for your consideration and inevitable ignoring:

* Why do the first chocolate chip cookies out of the oven magically weld themselves to the serving plate? Is there a cosmic conspiracy in place so that when you are desperate for one of the last cookies at 1:30 AM, you have to chisel it off with butter knife, shooting it across the kitchen onto the dog-hair encrusted floor, and then have to race said hairy dogs to retrieve the cookie before they devour it? Nick and Sassy do not appreciate the 5 second rule of cookie ownership.

* Why does Nick have to stick his head in shrubs and grasses full of burrs, E.V.E.R.Y. single time you let him out to play, thereby allowing you the privilege of repeatedly picking the burrs out of his ears and neck and chin and feet and...?

Sassy and Nick patiently waiting for fresh peas from the garden.

* Why is it so d*mn hot and muggy here in the summer?? I'm telling you, it's bad when you break a sweat in your shorty pajamas while letting the dogs out in the middle of the night to tend to their business. I have sweat beads under my eyes! And my Lady Lumps! And working in the yard results in crotch-pot cookin', y'all! Alright, TMI, I know.

* I like tomatoes. There, I said it. Call me a freak, but I've already copped to this in my previous post, so really, you can wipe the shocked look off of your faces!
Thai Pink Egg tomatoes in the morning dew. See? Even they are sweating!

And lucky for me, I've got tomatoes, coming out my ears and garden, and they don't have salmonella so I can eat them all if I want! Stud Muffin would rather lick the kitchen floor than eat one, so they are all mine!

Orange Banana Tomatoes, and yes, I know that one has a run in it!

* I planted too many spaghetti squash plants! I started everything from seed this year, and with my skill, never expected much of it to survive. Now I am paying the price with an over abundance of spaghetti squash!

And I've already pawned off bestowed over 13 pounds of it to friends! There is more in the garden.

My 16 quart canning pot from the previous picture. For perspective, you know.

* And speaking of my new pressure canning pot, how can a company send out a potentially explosive device with an instruction manual that is missing pages and repeats pages 26-51 THREE times?? I am waiting for a replacement manual, but that hasn't kept me from using the pot and making the whole house smell like thousand year-old boiled cabbage that has been stored in a gym locker. Yummmm!

* This is for Marmy, who has developed an unhealthy attraction to my dishes and is at this moment probably planning an intercontinental search and liberate campaign to abscond with them back to England. Figured I'd might as well show her where they are kept.

Ignore the redneck liquor on the upper shelf... or not!

* Oh! And why (do I always start a sentence with "And"? Oh shut up!!) when I am finally leaving on my trip to Reno to visit the girls does a tumorous growth erupt on my chin like I was prepubescent?? Oh. My. God. I am 27 39 shit! Okay, I'm forty-ahem years old! I do not need a career as the newest Clearasil girl!! Maybe I can give the growth to my daughters. What are loving mothers for??

Girls at Christmas. I wonder if I'll recognize them now!!

So I am off to visit the girls, and will be back next week with pictures I take designed especially to embarrass them in their place of work. Have fun, stay cool, and don't do anything I wouldn't do!


Marcia said...

Have a great trip. The story with the cookie and racing the dogs had me crying, I was laughing so hard...

Thimbleanna said...

I'm afraid I can't answer any of your questions, but I have one -- do your dogs really eat green peas? That's amazing! Have a great trip!

Lisa said...

Marcia ~ I hope I didn't cause any leakage due to excessive laughing!

Anna ~ Yes, the dogs really like peas, especially the edible pod kind! Sassy is crazy for tomatoes too, and will go down the line sniffing and occasionally licking a tomato! Nick will take one if given and run off with it to see if he can find the steak hidden within.

barefoot gardener said...


Hurry back, I don't know if I can take a whole week without your funniness....

Lisa said...

Not to worry, Barefoot, I haven't left yet! And I will be taking my computer with me, so maybe there will be a post from Reno!

MarmiteToasty said...

LOL@you and the biscuits lmfao......... girl you so make me laff...

And I looked on ebay for those lovely plates and after typing the name in I got all these Japanesse rubbish pictures come up LOL

Yours girls are gorgeous you really dont seem old enough to have kids that age :)..... yes its a bloody compliment, take it with honour cos I dont give em out to often LOL....

Be safe on your trip...

*MMmmmm maybe I will sneak over whilst ya away and nick ya plates lmfao*