Tuesday, April 7, 2009

It is I, LisaAlso, the all powerful!!

I was going to entitle this post "Lies, nothing but lies," because the freezing weather disappeared. But then I thought about how I suggested that Mother Nature go somewhere else, I figured out that She actually listened. To me!! I am drunk on the power to direct the weather!! {Insert maniacal laughter here.}

I think it all happened because of my stubborn attempts to thwart the destruction of my strawberry plants. I am, after all, nothing if not persistent! Just ask my poor husband, Stud Muffin!

And in that vein, the one of blindless persistence I give you this gem of a story, sent as usual by Singapore Cindy.

Alligator shoes


Photo by funnypictures.net.au

A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"

The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?"

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand. As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank.

Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.

The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled mightily and managed to flip the gator onto its back.

Rolling her eyes, she screamed in frustration, "Crap! this one's barefoot too!!!"


Photo by animalliberationfront.com

You are welcome! And thanks, Cyn for the giggle!

8 comments:

SigmaKappaGirl said...

Hehehe! I hate when that happens!

MarmiteToasty said...

hahahahaha jebus mary muvver of whomever.... I thought this was gonna be serious lmfao......

now I need tweezers to pick out the bit of sarnie that has been sniffed up me nose lmfao

x

Lisa said...

When have I ever said anything serious on this blog??? Haha... fooled ya! Now go pick yer nose!

Elenka said...

ha ha, that's funny!

barefoot gardener said...

*giggle* Oooh, that's a good one...

How 'bout you use your magical powers of weather-changing to give me some SPRING up here, already?

Lisa said...

Welcome, Elenka! Glad you enjoyed my little silliness!

Sara ~ Although my powers are strong, my aim pretty much sucks! I'm afraid I may have sent the bad weather up your way! My bad! Of course, I can't throw a Frizbee to save my life either, just ask Studly! Hang tight. I'm fixin' to throw some sun rays and maybe they will hit you up there!

MarmiteToasty said...

I thought I would tell you that yesterday I ordered a little greenhouse LOL little compared to the space you have....

When I was married we, me and the tosser, use to own a little plant nursery at WorldsEnd.... we had 5 65 foot greenhouses, so my little greenie that I order yesterday seems pathetic.... but its all that will fit down the bottom of me long but oh so narrow garden.....

I have a hard time coming up in the next 6 months and Im thinking ahead of something that will give me such great pleasure to keep my mind from imploding..... also before all the shit kicks in Im gonna get a sewing machine (I NEVER spend money on me, so this is strange lol) the little house is only 6 x 10 but oh my so much joy I will get from it..... need to get all I need before so that I can potter around.....

I will just have to make do with the little space I have.... tiz all i can do...

The fun (Argghhhh) part will be trying to figure out how to put the 100s of components together LOL

x

Celticspirit said...

Very cute story! Thanks for the laugh. :)
Happy Easter!