Now, that's just mean!!

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As I hopped back in the car after retrieving the mail, I told Stud Muffin that AARP had sent yet another invitation for him to join them in their celebrations of retired life.

Imagine my horror when I then noticed that the envelope was addressed to ...(*gasp*)... me!! WTF?? Such a slap in my still-youthful face! Yes, yes, I admit that I am about to turn the big 5-0 in a couple of weeks, but sheesh!

They might as well have slapped me into a Depends and bolted a horn to my walker! I feel my spine curling as we speak, and BTW, what did you say?? I need to turn up the volume on my hearing aids.

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Guess it is time to hang up my g-string and give up my dream of pole-dancing as a career choice. Better stock up on Metamucil and denture adhesive. Maybe I should ask if the nursing school gives a discount on tuition for the aged and infirm.

And speaking of nursing school, (did you notice how adeptly I segued into this topic? Still sharp as a tack!) Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, nursing school. I got a 96% on my last exam and passed the dreaded Dosage Calculation test with a 95%. Guess I can stay on another week.

We have made it to the half way mark of this first semester. We are now learning how to give injections (here, kitty, kitty) and to formulate nursing diagnoses. Bet you didn't know that nurses did their own diagnoses, did ya? All about patient goals and the nursing interventions that will help them get there. As I reflected on my current situation (you know us old folk, always reflecting), I devised a diagnosis of my life at the moment. It goes something like this:

"Impaired Life Balance related to nursing school attendance, secondary to advanced education pursuit, as manifested by shortened sleep cycle, excessive nocturnal studying, uncontrolled accumulation of school work, delusions of clinical competence, inadequate social participation, and increased spousal and housekeeping neglect."

But Spring Break is coming up, and I have big plans. Naps, a little gardening if the weather cooperates, and listening to some favorite bands from my era, like the Boobie Brothers, Grateful-I'm-Not-Dead and Crosby, Still, Nash, and Not-So-Young!

Got to run. Well, maybe shuffle is more like it!