Since you know I can't remain serious for very long (it might be hazardous to my {mental} health,) I thought about writing my thank you notes BEFORE opening the gifts. That way, I can thank the person for whatever I pretend is in the gift and make the appropriate comments about the fuzzy toilet cover from my MIL or the book on 101 uses for duct tape from my sister. Big fun, yes, but instead I give you an oldie but goodie...
The Twelve Thank-You Notes of Christmas
Photo by Today is a Good Day
Dec 25
My dearest darling Edward,
What a wonderful surprise has just greeted me! That sweet partridge, in that lovely little pear-tree; what an enchanting, romantic, poetic present! Bless you, and thank you.
Your deeply loving
Emily.
Dec. 26
Beloved Edward,
The two turtle-doves arrived this morning, and are cooing away in the pear-tree as I write. I'm so touched and grateful!
With undying love, as always,
Emily.
Dec. 27
My darling Edward,
You do think of the most original presents! Who ever thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do they really come all the way from France? It's a pity we have no chicken coops, but I expect we'll find some. Anyway, thank you so much; they're lovely.
Your devoted Emily.
Dec. 28
Dearest Edward,
What a surprise! Four calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly - they make telephoning almost impossible - but I expect they'll calm down when they get used to their new home. Anyway, I'm very grateful, of course I am.
Love from Emily.
Dec. 29
Dearest Edward,
The mailman has just delivered five most beautiful gold rings, one for each finger, and all fitting perfectly! A really lovely present! Lovelier, in a way, than birds, which do take rather a lot of looking after. The four that arrived yesterday are still making a terrible row, and I'm afraid none of us got much sleep last night. Mother says she wants to use the rings to "wring" their necks. Mother has such a sense of humor. This time she's only joking, I think, but I do know what she means. Still, I love the rings.
Bless you,
Emily.
Dec. 30
Dear Edward,
Whatever I expected to find when I opened the front door this morning, it certainly wasn't six socking great geese laying eggs all over the porch. Frankly, I rather hoped that you had stopped sending me birds. We have no room for them, and they've already ruined the croquet lawn. I know you meant well, but let's call a halt, shall we?
Love,
Emily.
Photo by bulldog1Dec. 31
Edward,
I am quite sure I said NO MORE BIRDS. This morning I woke up to find no fewer than seven swans, all trying to get into our tiny goldfish pond. I'd rather not think what's happened to the goldfish. The whole house seems to be full of birds, to say nothing of what they leave behind them, so please, please, stop!
Your Emily.
Jan 1
Frankly, I prefer the birds. What am I to do with eight milkmaids? And their cows! Is this some kind of a joke? If so, I'm afraid I don't find it very amusing.
Emily.
Jan. 2
See here, Edward,
This has gone far enough. You say you're sending me nine ladies dancing. All I can say is, judging from the way they dance, they're certainly not ladies. The village just isn't accustomed to seeing a regiment of shameless hussies cavorting round the green, and it's Mother and I who get the blame. If you value our friendship, which I do (though less and less), kindly stop this ridiculous behavior at once!
Emily.
Jan 3
As I write this letter, ten disgusting old men are prancing up and down all over what used to be the garden, before the geese and the swans and the cows got at it. And several of them, I have just noticed, are taking inexcusable liberties with the milkmaids. Meanwhile the neighbors are trying to have us evicted. I shall never speak to you again.
Emily.
Photo by greenmelindaJan 4
This is the last straw! You know I detest bagpipes! The place has now become something between a menagerie and a madhouse, and a man from the council has just declared it unfit for habitation. At least Mother has been spared this last outrage; they took her away yesterday afternoon in an ambulance to a home for the bewildered. I hope you're satisfied.
Jan. 5
Sir,
Our client, Miss Emily Wilbraham, instructs me to inform you that with the arrival on her premises at 7:30 this morning of the entire percussion section of the London Symphony Orchestra, and several of their friends, she has no course left open to her but to seek an injunction to prevent you importuning her further. I am making arrangements for the return of much assorted livestock.
I am, Sir, yours faithfully,
G. Creep
Attorney at law.
Story courtesy of www.squarewheels.com
{Edit: Original story written by John Julius Norwich}
Merry Christmas, everyone!!
8 comments:
darn you can't read ...........1002 ways to use duct tape, the best manul out there!
Oh! I think I got the cheap version with only 101 suggestions! Figures!
I'm looking forward to seeing all the neat stuff you made Lisa. I haven't had time lately to work on any of my crafts in the past couple of weeks. And now the boys are home till after New Years so no time there either.
Did you get permission from to reprint The Twelve Days of Christmas from John Julius Norwich, who wrote it ?
There are many versions of this story. I credited the source I used for it at the bottom.
But the source used it without crediting the author. There are not "many versions". What you printed was exactly what John Julius Norwich wrote, and it's copyright. Not that it matters. I just thought you might like to know its origin.
Tony: I have now updated this post to reflect the original author.
No offense was ever intended. This was found by a search engine search for Christmas stories, which turned up this: http://www.squarewheels.com/content/santastuff.html
There are other versions of Thank You notes, most of which are similar to each other and uncredited and come up more frequently than Norwich's.
Let's put this to bed, shall we? I make every effort to give credit where it is due for photos and the like, and would never intentionally omit credit or claim it as my own work if it wasn't.
No offence taken; I was only winding you up. Who am I to raise the matter? My blog consists almost entirely of quotes, most of them uncredited.
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