For those of you city-slickers, and Marmy, who don't understand what I have against a cute little beaver, I will explain. (No, Stud Muffin, I will NOT explain my beaver to you! After 24 years of marriage, you already know!)
First off, beavers do not look like this:
Cartoon at files.turbosquid.com
If Marmy were to have her way, the picture would look like this:
Photo by raincoaster,files,wordpress.com
I want you to notice how large this beaver is compared to the woman kissing it! Folks, beavers are a member of the RODENT family! You know, rats and such! And they multiply like rodents!
Beavers can chew down a forest full of trees in no time, in order to build large waterfront condos for themselves and their numerous offspring.
Photo by ed.fnal.gov
They all want swimming pools and pool-side cabanas too, so they take even more trees to build damn dams to hold in water.
Photo by outdoorescapesnewhampshire.com
Damming up a stream does a couple of bad things. First, it slows the flow of water downstream, allowing leaves and junk to accumulate. Plus, I don't get to watch the water flow and that p*sses me off!
Second, when the heavy rains inevitably come, water backs up behind the dam and overflows the stream banks. This in turn washes away the surrounding ground, taking my roads and bridges with it. This p*sses me off!
Then I have to sweet talk Stud Muffin into selling his beloved car in order to raise funds to hire someone with a bulldozer to come build me a new road. I have to do unspeakable wifely things to accomplish this (like cleaning and cooking) and this also p*sses me off!
Finally, I have no more money and am reduce to being my own day laborer moving mulch ALL SUMMER LONG, because I can't afford to stimulate the local economy and hire somebody stronger than myself to move all that &*%&^$#$ mulch. This really p*sses me off!
The only way to eliminate a beaver population, is, well, to eliminate the beavers! Dynamite is preferred, but a bazooka is acceptable. We are going to try and just taking out the Welcome sign and see if they will relocate to Marmy's house. Otherwise, more drastic measures will be taken!
Now you all know why I want the beavers gone. As much as I would like to "live and let live," rodents bigger than my dogs freak me out. Worse than fish.
So, no more talk about leaving the beavers alone.
Photo by icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com