Thursday, December 4, 2008

Help Wanted!

We have once again reached That time of year when I struggle with... oh so many things! I worry all day and wake up in a panic at night (and worse, during naptime!) My stomach churns and I sweat profusely. It's really charming.

Yes folks, it is the annual "What to get MIL for Christmas" season!! Seriously, why is choosing a gift for one sweet old lady such a problem??

Last year, if you recall, I gave her these:

Felt green beans with a pat of butter to replace the real ones she spit out at my house. Not grey and mushy enough for her. And she didn't even "spit" them out! Just let them fall from her mouth with a horrified look like they were mouse droppings!!

So I need a new idea for this year.

I thought about getting her "Days of the Week" underpants, but she keeps losing Sunday!

Photo by

Personally, I think she leaves them in the collections plate at church. I know this photo looks like diaper covers, which they are but they are really granny-panties.

Maybe a book... she loves to read. I especially like the first book. That character up front bears a striking resemblance to her! The second book is more of a self-help thing and I'm not sure she go for it.

Photo by

Photo by rarebirdfinds.typepad,com

I thought maybe a clock, but when you are retired time has little meaning, except when to tune in your favorite television shows, and the VCR can tell you that!

Photo by

So, come on people, I need ideas. Pronto! Something I can make or get in this podunk town of mine (I love you little town!) I am very open to suggestions at this juncture. {Bonus points for identifying the movie I stole this quote from!}

One little old lady who hates my green beans, loves to read, loses her unmentionables, and has no concept of time!

Ready, set, suggest!

Edit: If you are wondering why I don't just ask MIL, I can't. If I do, she will ask what I want, and I don't know!!


intergalacticrose said...

This is a tough one....I'm thinking the same thing. Good luck!!

SigmaKappaGirl said...

Movie Quote: Six Days Seven Nights!

What to get for Grammy: Hmmmm.... A hot 20 year old guy!?

MarmiteToasty said...

This is so dam funny.....

I will have a think during me day and get back to you..... I would of liked to of bought me MIL a bottle of poison.... and still would, and just smile when she sipped her drink and complain about the taste but drink it anyways LOL....


Lisa said...

Rose ~ Welcome! Let me know if you come up with anything!! I'm desperate here!

Sigma ~ Bonus points to you!! Why don't you ask Grammy if she'd like a guy for Christmas? Then you can go find one for her!

Marmy ~ Have a good think cus I actually like my MIL! But also let me know if you poison your X-MIL cus that would be good for a laugh anyway!

MarmiteToasty said...

I will have a good think, and I aint seen my MIL in about 12 or more years, I think she/they live in Spain now, old cow LOL


Celticspirit said...

Take her to a strip club to see the male strippers and give her a fistful of dollar bills.

Forget the granny panties! Buy her some sexy thongs to wear...with the days of the week on them if you must. ;)